29 Jul 2013

In Mixed Marriages, who gets to stay in their homeland?

I met my husband in his homeland and we stayed there. Another couple I know met in her homeland and they moved to his. I would love to know if there is an even mix of mixed marriage couple's locations. It seems most of the mixed marriages I have come across, have the women as the immigrant. I could put this down to the fact that I am more drawn to women immigrants, so I know more immigrant women than immigrant men.

Perhaps as suggested in the article Do Men Suffer More Homesickness Than Women? women are geared up to be homemakers so they feel they can make a home where they need. I know as an independent twenty year old, I thought I could make a home anywhere. It turned out to be harder than I thought, especially being so distant from my homeland. Once we became established, it seemed too overwhelming to re-start a life in my homeland and expose my husband to the homesickness trials I had been through.

So we are still in his homeland. We are able to live in a lifestyle that suits us both in enough ways. I guess that is the deal breaker. Which country do you, as a couple or family, think you will have a life that you will be most happy in?


  1. This is Jocelyn commenting (from The Story Bridge team): I've married a migrant and we live in my homeland. Even now, after over 30 years of marriage, he still gets the odd homesick pang. However, on a visit to UK nearly 15 years ago, he said that he could never live in UK now. So, fortunately for us, we are both happy to live in NZ.

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