Three Painful Questions for Migrants

Where are you from?  Do you like it here?  Do you like it there?
These questions said with the best intentions, often as a conversation opener, repeated often enough can eat away at migrants and make them feel isolated.

Where are you from?

Accent, appearance, language, make it obvious a migrant is different to the native born. The question 'Where are your from?' although may be said with the best intentions, is a reminder to the migrant that they are not from here. In Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari, Harari suggests Homo sapiens  default to an 'Us and them' social structure. You are with us or not. He points out that in many cultures the word used to describe any one not born in the area or country to being similar to a description of non-people. 'Where are you from?' can be taken as you don't belong as much as me. Other perils of the question where are you from is discussed more in an earlier blog. Read more here.

Do you like it here? 

When this question is asked the migrant is doomed. By the fact the migrant has lived in two countries, they have a comparative point of view. Transport networks, climate, housing. they have experienced both and can see the advantages and disadvantages of each.

If the migrant is honest, and some cultures are more honest than others, he/she may say something like, I love the climate, culture and people, but I think the transport system or lack of it is frustrating. The criticism sticks out. Even such a cushioned honest reply from the migrant may cause the native born to think or say, 'Why don't you go back home then? '

Why is criticism not taken well? Because the migrant can be likened to a guest, and guests don't insult their hosts. Imagine you are invited to dinner, your host asks you whether you enjoyed the meal. If you reply that it was lovely except the main course was a little underdone, there will be unease.  A guest has expected behaviour. Often migrants have to accentuate the positive. And until they find someone who can receive the migrant's honest observations or criticism, they may have to bottle up any negative feelings about the country they have chosen to live in. A migrant, you are a guest in your host country.

Do you like it there?

When a migrant visits their homeland, they may yearn to be honest with their loved ones. Again they have a comparative opinion, and they have chosen to 'give up' their homeland. One of my sisters once said to me, "Where you are living better be a great place, because you have given up so much to be there."

The question 'Do you like it there?' should be treated with caution. Every positive of your host country is a negative score for your homeland. If you point out all the host country negatives that you can't share with native born of your host country, your loved one may wonder why you are still there. It can be safer to accentuate the positives of the things you miss in your homeland, and even be prepared to be told it is not like that any more. As a migrant, you may have to behave as a guest in your homeland.

These questions are a constant reminder that you are don't belong, and although you have a comparative opinion, it is not always welcome.You are a guest in two homes.

What can you do?

1. Talk to other migrants, as they are unlikely to take offense when you are making comparisons. 
   
2. Accept that like a permanent traveller, you will always be reporting on the positives.
3. If you are never able to speak your mind, seek someone who you can offload to. I have come across two women who bottled up their grievances for over twenty years, so much so that they became sick.
4. Journal your observations.
5. Research on line for other migrants. There are often country specific blogs that you can post your feelings on and feel you are heard.
6. Reviews and comments about my book have focused on the relief a migrant has felt in knowing other migrants felt the same way. 

Overqualified migrants. What are the impacts? What can help?

This post will  review the:

• The negative effects of overqualified or underemployed migrants for the host country.
• What can help migrants who are overqualified?

The previous post Why are migrant doctors driving taxis? looked at:

• Reasons behind migrants being overqualified
• How does overqualification affect migrants?

The negative effects of overqualified or underemployed migrants for the host country.

1.      Migrants employed in low skilled jobs with a low esteem may decrease productivity.
2. The host country becomes over-reliant on skilled labour at a low rate. This cheap labour may not be sustainable. When an English person was asked what she thought after Brexit was voted for, they said, 

“Get rid of the migrants, but not my Polish plumber. He is so skilled and cheap.”

Other examples of over-reliance on cheaper immigrant labour are in aged care places, where migrants often qualified nurses are low-paid carers, or the dairy industry in NZ, which has become reliant on Filipino workers.

3. The migrant, dissatisfied and unable to live the dream, repatriates. The host country’s immigration department investment in that person is lost. As the migrant goes ‘home’ and describes their experience, the country loses out on other potential migrants. According to Helpscout, it takes twelve positive experiences to make up for one negative experience. An article in the NZ Herald in September 2017 headlined “Don’t come to New Zealand British teachers warned colleagues back home” highlighted that the process of qualification recognition was costly and in some cases unrealistic.

4. Losing labour when immigration policies change. NZ recently announced a salary of $48,000 to determine whether a migrant is skilled. A salary below $48,000 meant that you were unskilled.

“The rules were due to come into effect next month, and included a minimum annual income of $48,000 for jobs currently considered skilled. It would force immigrants to leave for at least 12 months after three years of working here.” Radio NZ

5. Marginalised migrants gather and take solace in clusters. These clusters or ‘ethnic groups’ can create friction with the native born as the group increases in number, strength and unity. Immigrants become perceived in stereotypes rather than as individuals. The groups are harder to integrate into the community.

What can help overqualified migrants?

1. Be well-researched on the requirements of the country.
2. Accept that unless you have been headhunted for a position, being underemployed for a while may help you have the energy to get to know the country you are in.
3. Have your qualifications recognised by an international standard before you migrate.
4. Improve your language of the host country.
5. Make connections with people in the host country so that when an opportunity comes up, you can take it.
6. Re-evaluate why you wanted to migrate. Was it employment prospects, lifestyle or other reasons?
7. Seek out other migrants who feel similarly. Support each other and campaign for greater recognition of workplace diversity and reduction of discrimination.

Below are two websites that are helping migrants to become fully employed. Hopefully internet searching for professional migrant help in your host country will help you find ways to reach your full potential when you ready.

Skilled Professional Migrants Program (SPMP) Australia

Skilled Migrant Programme New Zealand

Do you live in the best country?

Are you living in the best place? Migrants chose a country to move to based on their needs at that time. Needs will differ depending on the migrant's situation and personality. They may chose a country that offers either more prosperity, safety, or is environmentally friendly. A migrant may look for a county that makes integration of migrants a high priority.

Hopefully once you have moved and become a migrant, you feel that your adopted country s a great place to be for you. Would you feel better if your country was in the top ten countries of the world? Have a look at the three videos from The Daily Conversation below to see where your adopted country ranks.

The Top Ten  Countries That Recycle The Most

World's 10 Most Prosperous Countries

There isn't a top ten for best country for integrating migrants, but it seems that Canada is a leader with, Multiculturalism is more important to Canadians' national identity than hockey. In this chapter, Prof. Dr Irene Bloemraad notes how multiculturalism is embraced in Canada. The video is part of a free course from Iveristy.org, 'Rethinking 'Us' & 'Them': Integration and Diversity in Europe'.   The course is made up of 5 minute videos. I recommend it.

Did your country of choice come into the top ten? Did it make you feel better knowing so? The ranking is a nice to know for many. More important is that you appreciate the advantages your adopted country has on offer.

Are you making the most of the country you are in?  Whether your country is in the top ten or not, it is important to check whether you are making the most of the country you are in, especially if you are feeling unsettled. Maybe you need to put more effort into the country you are living in. Have you looked into or experienced the highlights of your adopted country? Have you become involved in the community around you? Have you been over-relying on your phone or computer for stimulation and connection? New Zealand is known for its natural beauty. In New Zealand I have walked around volcanoes, attended a hangi, been for bush walks, felt the youth of the country under my feet. I have played in the waves on empty beaches and swam in clean rivers, and before I had children, joining an evening class helped me get to know New Zealanders outside of work. As a family we have continued with enjoying beaches and bush walks. Our children have become involved in sport and both my husband and I became involved in local voluntary work. If you are unsettled, bored or dissatisfied, you may resort to your phone for connection. David Livermore CQ (cultural intelligence) specialist, highlights that with our smartphones we are continually being connected elsewhere, “..several of the security officers were leaning against the wall scrolling through their phones every time I walked by them.” Smartphones may have wiped out boredom from idle moments, but it has also stopped us looking at what is around us. If you feel unsettled because the country you chose to live in has not worked out the way you thought, leave the virtual world, and look for new experiences in your new environment. Below is a couple of videos that remind us how easy it is to overuse our phones. Look up Madness of Humans   I would love to know your comments.

Underwear-undercover familiarity

This is not a knicker fetish This was originally posted on my newsletter. I thought it worth posting on my blog.

    Why do I keep buying M&S knickers?

    I don’t have an underwear fetish, but as my lingerie drawer contents is looking more like  ‘lingertoolong’ underwear, my thought process jumps to - need more M&S knickers, about time I went to M&S, England. 

    I hear you cry, ‘Why not buy online!

Accents

Everyone has an accent. The area we come from will have its own way of pronouncing vowels and consonants as well as pacing the syllables of a word. As an immigrant, your accent identifies you as coming from a different country.
On the positive side your accent can be perceived as exotic or romantic.

On the negative side:

1. This can be isolating, as you are reminded you don't belong as much as the person you are talking to.
2. You may have to repeat yourself often.
3. You may be perceived as a new immigrant even though you have been in your adopted country for many years.
4. You may be subjected to assumptions about your homeland.

What can you do about it?
Accents are discussed in my book, The Emotional Challenges of Immigration which will be launched in two months time. Here are some pre-launch excerpts:
As a young university student, Anne didn’t want to be judged as American before she was judged as a person, so she spent a long time studying the accent of her adopted country. ‘Accent is a funny thing, because it is very changeable, but at the end of university, you couldn’t tell that I was from the States on the first meeting.’
However when she visited her Grandmother in America, the changed accent worked against her. Her grandmother said to Anne, 
"America is my home, you shouldn't have an accent."

An immigrant from Malaysia said he felt there was a limit to how much he was willing to adjust. He became tired of people correcting his English pronunciation. ‘I have learnt a second language. I speak it well, even though it is very different to my original language. Can’t you accept I’ve made huge moves to get where I am? I am not bothered if sometimes it is a bit incorrect. As long as you can understand me, I do not need to speak in the same accent as you.’

Although the language was the same, another immigrant found that, "My parents say they don’t understand the children."  This can be upsetting for the immigrant as this creates a feeling of disconnection from your homeland and loved ones.

Some people find trying to identify which country they belong to difficult, and may end up feeling disconnected from both. Anne points out, ‘Over there I have an accent; over here I have an accent. It’s very weird. It’s being in between … I feel I will never fully be one or the other any more. I am neither completely from here nor American.’

Strategies to help: